• Genevra House / Shelter Program

• Child & Youth Progam

• Transitional & Housing Support Program

• Brookwood Apartments

• Supportive Counseling Program

• Information about abuse
  • What Is Abuse
  • Helping Children

• Safety Planning
  • What is a Safety Plan?
    
  • What I Can Do Before A Violent Incident
    

• Internet and Email Saftey

• Links for Abused Women - Canada

• Testimonials

YWCA Genevra House is a Turning Point Program

Support Services for women experiencing abuse by their intimate partners

The team at YWCA Genevra House offers a full range of support programs for the residents of Genevra House and for women in the community.  Our programs are available to all women wanting to build a life free from abuse, whether they are staying at Genevra House or living elsewhere.  We also provide support to women experiencing elder abuse.

All of our programs are based on our belief in a woman’s right to make the choices that are best for her.

We believe that every person has the right to live in dignity, free from exploitation. 

With special emphasis on women we work to empower all individuals to reach their full potential in body, mind and spirit.

Violence against women is:  Any threat, act or physical force that is used to create fear, control or intimidation.

YWCA Genevra House Programs

Shelter Program

Genevra House is open to all women who are escaping abuse by their intimate partners (including same sex partners).  Women and their children are provided with a secure and welcoming environment any time of day or night.  We provide:

• 32-bed residence open 24/7
• Free emergency transportation to shelter
• High level security system
• Telephone support line
• Crisis intervention, support, counselling and referrals
• Safety planning for women, children and youth at every turning point

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This program provides support to both children and their mothers and offers practical assistance with the following:

• Staying Safe
• After-school activities
• Coaching in mothering after abuse
• Coaching in cooperative play and peaceful solutions for home and school

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All women living in an abusive relationship can call for support.  Experienced staff will provide flexible support services while women are looking at their options and making decisions about their future.  The services include:

• Setting goals for a successful future
• Assistance in finding permanent, safe housing & building a support network
• Referrals to financial support systems and legal services
• Second stage housing support

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This ten unit apartment building located in one of Sudbury’s residential communities, provides safe, short-term housing for women through the outreach services of Genevra House.  The goal of the program is to return the women to an empowered pattern of living.

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The team at Genevra House offers individual and group counselling on topics that include:

• Safety Planning
• Empowerment
• Stress Management
• Positive solutions to the effects of abuse
• Strengthening self-esteem and self-confidence
• Well-being for the shore and long term

YWCA Sudbury is a member of YWCA Canada and is affiliated with:

• Ontario Association of Interval & Transition Houses
• Action Ontarienne contre la violence faite aux femmes

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General Information About Abuse and Violence

What are the definitions of abuse?

Woman abuse happens when your partner mistreats you. It takes many forms and as many names: battered women, spousal abuse, wife abuse.

Physical abuse is any aggressive behavior directed at another's body, such as pushing, pinching, squeezing, shaking, grabbing, biting, slapping, punching, kicking, choking, etc. It also includes throwing objects or using a weapon. Obviously, such conduct will often result in serious injuries, but many women are subjected to varying degrees of physical abuse without suffering physical injury that is visible to the eye.

Sexual abuse is forced participation in any type of sexual activity. No one, not even a partner, has the right to force a woman to participate in sexual activity if she doesn't want to. If force or threats of force are used to gain the woman's compliance, the partner can be charged with sexual assault.

Psychological and verbal abuse is the infliction of emotional pain and suffering by doing things to control or degrade, such as persistent verbal attacks on self-esteem, repeated accusations of infidelity, threats of suicide, control over friends and money and threats of harm to others.

Forced confinement is when someone does not allow another person out of, for example, a house, room, bed or chair for extended periods of time.

Abuse towards pets or property is the destruction of property or animals with the explicit or implicit threat that "she is next."
Financial abuse means having no access to the family's money. The woman may live in a comfortable house, wear good clothing, have children who are well-equipped with toys and luxuries, but have no control over what is spent or saved, over what moneys come into the family, over any decisions about what will be bought. She is allowed no money for personal use.

Here Are Some Things You Should Know About Woman Abuse

There is help: Do not be ashamed or embarrassed to ask for help.

• You are NOT to blame: Your partner may be angry or under stress but these are not excuses for violence. It is not your fault.
• You are NOT the only one: Canadian born, immigrant, and refugee women share this problem. It happens to many women of all ages, religions, cultural backgrounds and incomes.
• Nobody has the right to hurt you: Although people may tell you that it is your duty to obey your partner and stay with him/her, all forms of woman abuse is wrong.
• It usually will NOT get better: Partners who are violent usually do not change. The abuse may get worse over time.

What are some of the warning signs?

Your partner:

• Is extremely jealous.
• Wants to know where you are at all times.
• Gets upset if you spend time with friends or family.
• Holds rigid expectations of male/female or adult/child role.
• Expects you to meet his/her emotional needs.
• Blames others and you for his/her problems.
• Threatens you with violence.
• There may be many other warning signs; you can phone Genevra House (705-674-2210) for further information.

In your contact with any family member, the following observations should be considered clues to the possibility of wife assault.

• a history of wife assault or child abuse in the partner's family of origin.
• a suspicion of child abuse or sexual abuse in his/her role as a parent.
• abuse of drugs or alcohol.
• a history of suicidal thoughts or suicide attempts.

such characteristics as:

• impulsiveness
• temper tantrums
• jealousy
• possessiveness
• excessive dependence on his wife
• immaturity

Adapted Understanding Wife assault: A Training Manual for Counselors and Advocates by Deborah Sinclair M.S.W. C.S.W. pg 44

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For Mother

• Understand that there is a reason for the child's behavior and acknowledge that in words for them. Children will work out reasons of their own for the turmoil, often blaming themselves, unless you discuss what is going on.
• Let your children know that the fighting is not their fault.
• Give them permission to talk about the abuse. Information and talking about feelings helps to sort out what is going on. If you are not able to handle talking with your child, make sure she knows one or two other people that you feel comfortable having her talk to.
• Help them to work out a safety plan: a safe place to go when there is fighting, numbers they can call, and make sure they know it is not safe to get in between fighting adults.
• Acknowledge the mixed feelings they may have toward their parent; it is still okay to love him/her, but hate what he/she does.
• Make sure your child knows that keeping silent about abuse at home sometimes leads to keeping silent about other negative experiences.
• Help the child to identify feelings other than anger, and help them find safe ways to express those feelings. Try to notice and comment on what your child is doing right.
• Be as specific as you can about what is going to happen in everyday life. Children who live with abuse need information ahead of time about where they will be, and how long they will stay. If your child has a hard time separating from you, reassure him, and tell him you will be safe and when you will be back.
• Get support for yourself. It takes extra patience to cope with a child who is acting out because of witnessing abuse.

For Teachers and Child Care Workers

• Try to incorporate into daily activities, a discussion of feelings and how to express them and recognize them in other people. Some children who witness violence only recognize and express anger; a feeling vocabulary helps them to express what they are experiencing.
• A child who witnesses abuse often has a short attention span as a result of being constantly on edge at home. Try to avoid focusing excessive negative attention on this behavior and, if possible, support the child in redirecting his energy.
• Try to discuss behavior in terms of "safe and not safe", rather than "bad, good, nice, not nice". The child may already be suffering with very low self-esteem and will tend to identify with the aggressor in her family if she hears at school that she is not nice.
• Consistency, routine and follow-through are very helpful in assisting a child who is coping with violence. Try to create a feeling of safety and predictability in the child's environment, using visual cues, like clocks, whenever possible. Self-esteem words and phrases that identify concrete examples of positive behavior (helpful cleaning up, shared his snack) go a long way to counter feelings of worthlessness and helplessness, especially when written down.
• Be as clear as possible about rules and consequences. Try to avoid the appearance of arbitrary punishments or decisions. Children who witness violence often have a very keen sense of justice.
• Offer limited choices. This increases a child's sense of control over her world. Try to be patient with decision making: it may be an unusual experience for her. Give a time limit.
• School-age children can benefit from discussions of gender stereotyping. Boys especially need to know that the abuser in their family is not the only way to be male.
• Challenge stereotypes in popular culture that show helplessness and aggression. Identify other ways of coping with problems.
• Help the child identify her "support systems"; safe family members or adults that can help a child by listening.
• Know that the child's mother is doing the best she can under the circumstances. Be aware of the issues she is facing, and try not to judge her for what may look like poor parenting practices in your view. If you have noticed routines or patterns that seem to help or hinder the child, share them with his mother, but be aware that she may not always be able to act on the information immediately or consistently.

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Making a safety plan involves identifying the steps you can take to increase your safety and helps to prepare you and your children in advance for the possibility of further violence.

This plan was adapted from information provided in several Domestic Violence/Woman Abuse Safety Plans. In particular, we have referred to information found on the Shelternet.ca website.

My Personal Safety Plan

While I do not have control over my abuser's violence, I can make myself and my children safer by planning actions that will help us deal with the abuse.

I will use this plan as a guide and reminder to help me find ways to be safe. If I am concerned that my abuser will find a printout, I will write the points I believe apply to me on a separate piece of paper and hide it in a safe place.

I will review and update this plan on a regular basis so that I will be ready in case my situation changes.

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If I believe my partner will be violent, there are a number of things I can think about in advance.

I can prepare to leave by doing some of the following things:

I will keep a suitcase, box or bag ________________________________ where I can get to it quickly and easily. In it, I will keep as many of the following items as I can:

• An extra set of keys for the apartment or house and vehicle
• Small bills and change for taxis and telephone call
• Identification papers - passport, social insurance card, birth certificates, immigration papers, citizenship card, aboriginal status card
• Driver's licence and registration
• Health cards and children's immunization records for myself and my children
• Divorce and custody papers
• Restraining orders, peace bonds, any other court orders
• Bank books, cheque book, credit cards, mortgage or loan papers
• Lease/rental agreement, property deed, business or partnership agreements, rent or mortgage payment receipts
• Address book
• Photograph of my (ex) partner to help identify him/her
• A list of other items I can pick up later

I can keep my purse, wallet, personal identification, keys and other emergency items __________________ in case I have to leave suddenly.

I can open a separate bank account in my name at _______________. I will request that any statements be sent to _______________ so that my abuser doesn't see them.

I can also check to see how much money is in our joint account in case I need to remove half the money quickly. If my abuser knows my account or PINnumber, I will ____________________________________.

I can help my children escape by telling them _______________________________. I will teach them the number of the local police _________________ and other emergency numbers such as _____________________.

I will review and revise my safety plan every ____________________________.

You can call Genevra House to speak with a worker about your safety plan or you can call the Assaulted Women’s Helpline at 1-866-863-0511 anytime of the day.

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Working with your Lawyer: A Toolkit for Survivors of Domestic Abuse

Produced by the Barbra Schlifer Commemorative Clinic, in partnership with PBLO, the toolkit provides information for survivors of domestic violence and support workers on how to effectively manage the lawyer-client relationship. The materials are designed specifically for women who are about to - or have just entered - the Family Law process and focus on three common problem areas: Expectations, Communications and Decision Making.

CLEONet - Community Legal Education Ontario

The CLEONet web site has hundreds of resources, news articles, and events from community organizations and legal clinics across Ontario on legal issues affecting low-income and disadvantaged communities. The site includes over 220 legal resources related to legal issues for women and families.

Shelter Associations

There are many provincial shelter associations representing or working with shelters, transition and interval houses. Although each association provides its membership with unique services, generally the purpose of a shelter association is to support and strengthen the efforts of shelters that provide services to abused women and their children.

Action ontarienne contre la violence faite aux femmes (AOcVF)

This is an information and resource website on violence against women for French speaking women in Ontario. The site also has links to French-speaking women's organizations which offer direct services, shelter, support and advice to women who experience any form of abuse.

Assaulted Women's Helpline

A 24-hour telephone crisis line for women in the province of Ontario.
The Helpline is also for friends and family members of abused women, service providers and other professionals in contact with abused women.

GTA: (416) 863-0511
TOLL FREE (Ontario): 1-866-863-0511
TOLL FREE TTY (Ontario):  1-866-863-7868

Ontario Women's Justice Network

Explains step by step the legal issues surrounding woman abuse and also provides links to shelters and affiliated services throughout Ontario and other provinces. Includes section on safety plans.

RoseNet - Law and Abused Immigrant Women

This site was developed by the Legal Studies Program, University of Alberta and Changing Together: A Centre for Immigrant Women. It specifically deals with issues abused immigrant or refugee women might face, such as legal rights of a sponsored spouse. There are three ways to find information: by following a story of an immigrant woman; by choosing a topic in the "facts" section; or by typing in a search term.

The site is well laid out and information is easy to find. Simple and self-affirming language is used to make the reader feel she is in control of the situation.

The Law and Abused Women

This site was developed by VIOLET, (Women, Violence and the Net), a collaborative effort of several women's groups in Alberta. The site explains, in simple language, how abused women can get help, with excellent explanations of legal matters. Some content is Alberta-specific.

Hot Peach Pages

Lists of shelters, rape crisis centres, womens' centres and other relevant agencies for every province in Canada, by province.

Cyberwise.ca

This site promotes safe online practices and provides resources, information and useful links relating to the dangers on the Internet particularly for children and youth.  There are separate sections on the site for Kids, Teens, Parents, Teachers and Professionals.

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Hide Your Internet Activities

The Internet is a great resource for finding information that can help you make decisions about your personal situation. However, it's important to realize that the record of your Internet activities does not disappear when you close your browser. If you are concerned that the person abusing you may check up on your Internet activities, there are a few steps you can take to help you cover your tracks, including deleting cookies and clearing your browser history (your cache).

If the person who is abusing you is good on a computer, it may not be safe for you to be visiting sites for abused women. Hide your Internet activities and visit websites from a safer place - the public library, school, an internet cafe, or your workplace.

Cookies are a way for websites to track their visitors and their actions. Sometimes this means that the site will "remember" you when you visit again. For example, it may display your first name, which you entered on a previous visit. This is done by storing small bits of information on your computer. It is important to delete cookies when covering your tracks on the internet. Methods for deleting cookies vary depending on the type of computer you are using. To learn how to delete yours, read the instructions that follow in this section that match your computer system and browser.

If you are using Internet Explorer:

1. From the TOOLS menu at the top of the screen, click "Internet Options"
2. Click the "General" tab in the small pop-up screen that appears.
3. From the Temporary Internet Files section, click the button "Delete Files"
4. From the History Section, click the button "Clear History"
5. Click "OK"

If you are using Netscape:

1. From the EDIT menu at the top of the screen, click "Preferences"
2. A small screen will pop up. From the History section, click "Clear History"
3. Click "OK"

If you are using AOL:

1. Click the "MY AOL" icon on the toolbar
2. Select "Preferences"
3. Click the "WWW" button
4. From the pop-up menu, click the "Delete Files" in the Temporary Internet Files Section
5. In the History section of the same pop-up menu, click "Clear History"

For more detailed instructions to help you hide your internet activities, visit Shelternet.ca

Your abuser may have ways of tracking your activities on your home computer that are difficult to prevent.

If you are concerned about the safety of using your home computer, if possible, use a computer at a public library, a school, an internet café, or at the home of a trusted friend.

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EMPOWERED WOMAN

To all the women that walk through these doors

it will be one of the biggest steps that you will have to take.

When you first take those steps into this shelter

all your heart, mind and spirit can feel,

is the negative.

All you want to do is lock yourself into a cocoon,

for everything to just go away and for all to go back to the happiest time in your life

either be past or present that you can think of.

Now I’m not saying this is easy, but if you took the first step to come in here,

already you are a stronger person.

As time goes by, emotions will rise and you will find the will power to go on

and the negative will turn into positive.

I conclude with this poem:

And only after this can you now be able to call this place, from shelter to “Heaven”

(a safe place)

From a resident Lee Anne……….

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